Index for Insanity, Inc.
Marriage and Money
One major issue in marriage has to do with money. Often it has to do with the spending of each person, as well as what they buy. If you consider a marriage like a business, you would not allow one person to spend money on anything that they want, there needs to be checks and balances.
Because a marriage is a partnership, before you get married you should sit down and discuss this issue. If you can not resolve it before you get married, perhaps you should not get married at all.
I have seen messages from people who admit to lying to their spouse, on a regular basis. Since a marriage is based on trust, this seems like a sure way to get to a divorce or at least have problems.
So, why do people feel that they need to hide their spending? Perhaps because they don't have any money that they can spend without being questioned about it. Often one or both people will spend more money than the other likes. Why is that? Perhaps because they never decided what was acceptable and never came up with common goals. The list goes on.
My solution is to sit down and talk about this issue and come up with an allowance for each person. You need to consider what the common spending is too. The first thing to figure out is what your required spending is, such as rent/mortgage, utilities, gas, car payments, food, etc. Then you need to determine what amount of money you need to save is. Part of the savings is for emergencies, but part is for achieving goals that both want to accomplish, such as buying a house, rental property, investments, etc. Then you can determine what spending is left over. The money that is decided that can be spent on luxuries, including going out to eat, should be split three ways. The first is for common spending, such as vacations, eating out, common items such as furniture, televisions, etc. Both should agree to any large purchases which come out of this fund. Part of this money should go to needed items. Remember, there are items which women need so the spending will not be equal. Then each person should be given an allowance which they can spend anyway that they want. This is money in which the person can spend anyway that they want without beign questioned. If they want to throw it away, give it away or anything else, it is their money to deal with. It could also be used to pay for a more expensive vehicle. While each person typically needs a vehicle, there is basic transportation and luxury vehicles. Some consideration needs to be given to vehicle which are shared, such as when going on vacation.
The bottom line is to set up a budget and define how you want to spend money. The spending will not be completely equal, so get over that. If a woman has a child, there will be more doctor's visits and that is a common expense. It is also important to recognize the differences between the sexes and some things are more expensive than others. Also, depending on where the person works, the cost of clothing could far more expensive and this needs to be considered.
Remember, it is a partnership, it is not a battle to see who can win.
Index for Insanity, Inc.
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